Home Moves Forum “She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie… Cocaine”*

“She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie… Cocaine”*

by devnym

When you're dating someone with a cocaine

It seems like a given that when you’re dating someone with a cocaine habit it’s going to affect your relationship in some way, but it’s actually this weird transition thinking you’re dating a totally “normal” and then you find out they do cocaine to party, and you like them so that seems okay you guess, but then you find out that it’s becoming more and more often but he’s keeping that from you (because users usually try and do that to non-users), to one day you step back and look at your life and realize you’re involved with someone that is spiraling into the trap of addiction.

I always found you very attractive and charming although I thought your personality was pretty dry. We had met several times at parties through mutual friends and you were always super sweet. When my friend told me you were asking about me and my relationship status, I can’t deny that I was intrigued and giddy although I thought it was weird because you had been sleeping with a good friend of mine recently. One day we ran into each other on the subway and you were so hot and I was totally swooning and you said something like, “next time I see you I’ll have to get your number,” which I found really confusing because you could’ve just gotten my number then. Then we run into each other a couple of more times and you finally ask for my number one night.

A month and a half later you text me (??) and then don’t respond to my text back. Little did I know that this spotty behavior was the precedent for our ‘relationship’ and I’m figuring out more and more it’s because of your cocaine habit and how it’s effect transcends so many levels of any sort of relationship. From how you wouldn’t invite me around certain friends because they were your ‘coke’ buddies and I didn’t get down like that, so you intentionally kept the worlds separate. But you were on some level ashamed because instead of telling me you were hanging out with certain people, you would make plans with me but then just last-minute ditch me and not invite me out and you would hang out with them instead. But before I figured this out, I just felt shafted all of the time like you didn’t want to spend time with me.

When we did hang out and meet up with people in a public place, you were constantly running off to the bathroom with someone interested in doing a bump with you, or I was even skeptical of when you entered the bathroom by yourself that you were just doing it by yourself. Totally not cool to have to wonder about that. Or that if you went in there with another girl that you were actually just doing blow or something that my jealous mind can’t help but wonder about. How whenever we’d have sex and you weren’ton coke it was great and fun and amazing, but when you were on coke it was like you were impotent and couldn’t keep the act going. Whenever this got to be the case more and more I felt like you started to turn it around on me like you weren’t turned on anymore, but I know that it’s because you were just doing blow that more often. Human relationships, especially romantic ones are complicated, fragile states of mind. Susceptible to the vagaries and impulses of the human condition. When an individual chooses to further complicate things by regularly altering their mind set with a powerful stimulant like cocaine it leaves anyone in their circle who cares, romantic or not, without the norms to understand them and adjust to their altered state. For a serious lover it’s devastating. Unfair and uncaring. But definitely a brightly illuminated exit sign. Take my advice and take it.

The exit sign that is! “She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie… Cocaine”*

* from Cocaine by Eric Clapton

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