Home dish BITE ME


by devnym

Being careful what you wish for
is no fun especially when you
do get it… if you’ll pardon
the expression.

by Roger Suede

Everyone wants to be sexy. To feel it. Look it… to taste it. Human beings by nature are reserved, some more than others, and we hide or shelve our appetites to fit into society’s cookie-cutter mold. But sometimes we need a little break. Take the sex video craze. As technology grows and the masses are exposed to porn, couples are making home videos of their sexual exploitations more than ever; the Average Joe OR Joan is the new porn star. It’s a way to escape. Like Flip TV. You are now Jenna Jameson, or Ron Jeremy, pounding out your mate and using dirty words, caught on video for your personal enjoyment. That’s great for some people, but for me, I wasn’t the video sort of guy. I wanted to indulge in a fantasy with a bit more fanfare. I wanted to role-play, Hollywood style. 

Role-playing is probably something everyone has done, or at least thought about/heard about. From the “customer” walking into the “bakery” and being asked if they would “like a large cannoli,” to the “plumber” over at the apartment to “lay some new pipe,” role-playing in the bedroom normally takes on everyday professions. The doctor and “head” nurse, the French maid, the lonely businessman who orders an escort; hell, I’ve even heard of a “caddie” and Tiger Woods, complete with Nike cap and red sweater, golf club, of course, “his own.” These are real-life situations taken on by real-life people. Although these are fun and very sexy (big fan of the baker scenario), I wanted something a little more enticing and risqué, that would bypass Luke Sky walker and Princess Leia. I wanted to break in costumes from a different time period… and it all came together one weekend in March… 



Act. I. I thought of it one day while watching a trailer for Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. Every girl loves that Jake Gyllenhaal, and I thought the outfits were quite intriguing: leather, armor, weaponry. I figured films of this nature are hot right now, what with Clash of the Titans, Robin Hood (yes, another one of these f-ing Robin Hood movies), and Prince, warrior movies are all the rage for 2010. Now for her, and since this was my fantasy – soon to be hers – I chose vampire: black leather boots, heels, red nails and lips, a black cape, dark eye makeup, white button down that can easily be torn off with my “sword,” slick hair… This wasn’t Elvira, rather Mr. and Mrs. Smith meets Cat-woman meets Twilight. This was hot and a date needed to be set. 

Act 2. I had my eyes on a Friday – no work the next day and a few days to recover from the “acting.” The week before I had to plan the adventure and set the scene. I had brushed up on the classics like Ben-Hur, Spartacus, Gladiator, and mixed in some Brave heart. I even practiced an Irish brogue (even though it had nothing to do with Persia, I liked it better). Next I went to a local NYC costume shop and picked up the necessary garb. I even grabbed a Roman soldier’s helmet, complete with red bristled top, sort of like a broom on my head. 

Act. 3. The scene. When creating the perfect role-play experience, background music is quite effective. When you work out you wear an iPod, no? Same reasoning applies here. I waited at the door for her 9PM arrival. I paced, gold and leather gladiator gear shining from the dimly lit light that left a glow in the room. Strap-up boots, chest armor; I used me lady’s skin cream to get a glistening affect on my legs and arms. I was ready for war – and then the bell rang and the door swung open…. 

Act 4. I looked at the open entrance and there she stood, exactly how I had planned. The black latex shined like a beacon, her hair was wet and pulled back, she wore a white sheer see-through shirt pinned tight against her body, while a black cape flowed behind her. I could see her red nails as sharp as knives, and her red lips and powdered face completed the vampire look. Her dark eyes followed me as I slowly walked over to her. Soon we were face to face and she kicked the door closed without looking. Not a word was uttered and we stood there for what seemed like an eternity – warrior versus vampire. 

The Final Act. I grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against me. I could feel her excitement and I know she felt mine. With one quick motion, I had her by the hair and she lunged for my neck, slowly nibbling and sucking. I pulled her to the bedroom and then… Some things are better left up to the imagination. I will admit that my foray into the world of role-play was much to be desired. 

Epilogue. We woke up the next morning, costumes somewhere strewn across the room. I still happened to have my man-sandals on, and felt my neck was very sore so I went to the bathroom and noticed the blood on my neck and shoulder – signs of a very good night. “Let’s do that again sometime,” she said. “I have another role to play.” If it was anything like a vampire, I’m all game. 


You may also like

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

Privacy & Cookies Policy